The Ability To Go Through Storms
Has there ever been a season in your life where you felt like your relationship with God was lacking? You still loved God, but your fire and zeal for Him started to dwindle away. The passion you once had has now turned into an everyday routine and there's no excitement in your relationship with Him. Over the past couple months, I found myself wrestling with the reality that I had become stagnant in my relationship with God. I felt as if there was a disconnect that was almost impossible to fix. It was like that awkward stage in a relationship when you know that there's something wrong, but you don't want to talk about it because you know that dealing with the problem will hurt worse than sweeping it under the rug. So with each passing day, the distance between God and I increased and in that distance I gave the enemy room to creep into my heart and spread lies of defeat and negativity. The scary thing about it was that I believed those thoughts! I started believing the lies. Thoughts like, "You'll never get to where God wants you to be", "You're too far behind!", "God is unhappy with you and it would be awkward to pray since you haven't talked Him in a week" filled my head constantly. I felt ashamed of the distance that I had let come between me and God and because of my guilt, I further removed myself from the presence of God.
Not until just recently did I understand that learning how to be vulnerable with God is pivotal to the process of becoming whole again. So many times we harden our hearts because of past heartbreaks or misunderstandings and slowly we build up a wall between our hearts and God. We allow shame to take the place of love and we become bitter and angry.
Beloved, know that you don't have to go through hard times alone!
Our human minds can only think so big. We will never be able to grasp the greatness of God and how His love is not comparable to our human love that so many times fails us. How many times has your heart been broken by someone who said that they loved you, but ended up breaking your heart? Or how many times have we not given God the title as Father because we have never experienced the presence of a real father in our lives? He is not like us. He loves us when we feel that we are unlovable because HE IS LOVE. God knows the pains and the hurts that we have dealt with and He longs for us to run to Him when we are broken.
Don't take on the weight of the world as if it were your own. You are free! Walking through storms is so much easier when you know that God is never going to leave you when your at your worst. He loves you regardless of your mistakes or short-comings. He knew that you would mess up and fall short sometimes, but His hope was that you would run to Him in those moments of despair. He never intended for you to try and figure life out on your own. He has a plan for your life. Things will not always be perfect, but He will always make a way of escape for those who love Him! Every storm has an ending and every dark and lonely night must have a morning. You do not have to be alone. God is able to streghten you and cause you to walk uprightly and boldly through storms.
It's funny because the day we did the photo shoot for this post, Chicago was experiencing its first snowfall of the season and we had hail storms all day. My week had been full of ups and downs and I was experiencing emotional turmoil at work. Nothing seemed to be going right. The difference about this storm was that instead of running from the pain and hurt, I laid it all down at the feet of Jesus. I didn't allow myself to harbor pain in my heart. I got vulnerable and I told God exactly where it hurt and why it hurt. My vulnerability allowed God to heal my heart. I pray that you too realize the freedom that you have to unapologetically tell God where it hurts. He's not afraid of your mess.
1. Get vulnerable
Stop thinking you have to have it all together. Give God your broken pieces and let him heal you. No healing comes without vulnerability.
I found out that worshipping God is the easiest way to be still and hear His voice. My favorite worship albums right now are Gospel Goes Classical by Juanita Bynum & Jonathan Butler and Here Is My Worship by Jaye Thomas.
In Fashion News...
I decided to bring out my wool Yohji Yamamoto jacket one last time before the weather gets too cold. This time I decided to make it more fall appropriate by layering my favorite sweater from Urban Outfitters underneath. This outfit is comfortable enough to run errands in and still be chic. By the way, pastels are not just for spring! Light colors are allowed during any season, but they must be done the right way. Making a pale pink jacket a fall statement piece is just what I had envisioned for the day. Fashion rules are overrated. I think I'll be contrasting my spring and fall wardrobes a lot more this year. Stay tuned :)