Hello Beautiful People!
Allow me to re-introduce myself. LOL. Just kidding...sorta. If you haven't already noticed, I cut all of my hair off. The reason as to why I decided to do it is pretty simple. I didn't feel like myself anymore. I was starting to feel like weaves defined me. I became dependent on someone else's hair and I began to resent my own.
Ever since I was a little girl I have always had trouble with my hair. It has always been naturally fine in texture and the moment it hits humidity nothing can save it. So in middle school I rocked braids and in high school sew-ins were my saving grace.
(FYI: This is not a blog post bashing weaves. Versatility is fun and protective styling is imperative for women of color so that we don't damage our hair. However, my problem went further than the extensions themselves.)
About two months ago I woke up one morning and decided I was tired of feeling like I didn't look like myself. I was starting to feel like my hair was wearing me and not the other way around. I felt like somewhere along the way the real Maureé had been lost under insecurities. That feeling started to seep into other parts of my life. I felt ill-inspired and unmotivated to do anything creative. I had lost my passion for art and everything seemed very mundane.
Now to some of you that might sound absolutely crazy. I get that. However, the way you feel about yourself and the insecurities that you don't deal with will inevitably manifest in other areas of your life if you don't face them head on.
So one day I woke up and decided to it was time to chop it all off because I am not my hair. But this time I was intentional! Instead of just thinking about it, I actually made the appointment!
Some people think that this was a random act of boldness for me, but some of my closest friends know that I have been debating whether or not to cut my hair for a while. It just took me three years to finally act.
The Aftermath: I have never felt so confident in my life. I wish I had done it sooner, but maybe I wasn't ready then.
Over the past three years I have grown by leaps and bounds.
I am continuously developing. I'm more open to life. I'm wiser about my relationships. I'm bolder in my career. I cherish moments more. I love harder than I ever have before and I feel like I now look like the woman I'm becoming. It's all about the process. This year has been my year of courage and intentionality and I am happy to say that I've done one more thing this year that scared the heck out of me.
Just to clarify, I feel more confident because I proved to myself that my hair didn't define me. Yeah the cut is cute, but that's just a bonus. My freedom is in the act of doing things afraid. My hair was a symbol of bondage and not being able to let things go because of comfort and familiarity.
So do I even have to say it?
It may not be getting rid of your lace front, but it may be getting rid of that no good guy that's been roaming around your life.
(Just an example, but if the shoe fits...*cough*)
So until next time, I'm just gonna sit here and embrace this re-intro to the new and improved me; the Maureé who's learning to kick fears butt and walk through doors that look slammed shut.
My New Mantra:
Dope, right?! He gave that to me in my quiet time and it will forever be the mantra of my life. All we have to do is be present. Half of the key to winning a battle is just about showing up to the fight. The other half is God's job. Courage is presence.
I love you mucho,
Photography by Brittnee Snodgrass